Of course when it's windy as all hell and raining out, my sweet little daughter wants to play outside. She doesn't want to take her nap today. Every toy I hand to her little brother gets taken away with a small, but very powerful voice saying "mine". Hello! Ya know the cookies you ate yesterday from off my plate? Mine! The cheese and crackers I made myself for a snack that you grabbed? Mine! Yes, I am a greedy mom. I like my time, my own food, my treadmill time, my internet time. Do I get it, no! I know, it's sounds so horrible to say all this, because truly I don't want to ever think about my life without my children. But it can be so exhausting! And I have it so easy compared to so many people - I would never be able to work and take care of my children, the house. I would never be able to handle twins or more than say, 3 kids. I can't even keep my own cluttery piles of junk cleared out, much less 2 kids rooms, playroom, and living room. Forget my bedroom, I just throw things over the gate in the doorway that we don't want the kids to touch, and then by the time I make it to sleeptime, I just clear a pathway to the bed. I guess I am just not that "perfect mother" that I thought, or hoped I could be.
We'll have dinner tonight at my Mom's, which makes me so happy that I don't have to cook. Or think of what to cook. Or shop for what to cook. So then, what the hell am I bitching about today?
There's always something.
Like the neverending pile of dirty laundry..
The dishwasher that always needs to be emptied when I need to fill it..
The pile of magazines that I have yet to read..
The cleaning supplies in the bathroom, waiting to be used..
The remaining thank-you cards that I need to finish writing from JR's Christening (was in Sept)..
The summer clothes that need to be put away..
The outgrown baby clothes that need to be put away..
And the list goes on.......
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