the central vacuum will not shut off, the rubber backing on the bathrug shredded in the washing machine and my breakfast sucked. quick, someone send me some inspiration....

color me WHAT???

The anxiety is overwhelming. Really, never have I felt so frustrated and afraid to commit.

After 10 years Hubby and I have decided to paint the living room. It is currently white.
So we have smudged a few samples on the wall and I cannot decide what I want. I thought I wanted some color. I ended up with beiges, greys and off whites. But even they are just sitting there on the wall saying "come on G, do it do it...." I can't commit. Not to one damn color. I am afraid. This is our living room here. The room we all hang out in....everyday. I actually have to keep putting down all my painting swatch books and leaving the room because it is so anxiety inducing for me.

But we need this. I certainly do not feel that I have left my mark in this room yet, and I find myself struggling with the fact that maybe, just maybe, I don't know what my mark is yet. So ridiculous, I know, you don't have to tell me. In fact, if Hubby came home tomorrow and said he wanted to have another baby, that would be easy. If I had to go out and buy a new refrigerator, no problem- we could have that picked out in an hour. But paint, hold on, I had no idea that this was so difficult.

uh.

I need to stop talking about it now because I feel an anxiety attack coming on.

uh.

Gluten Free Pancake Recipe

ah, another a few days have passed and I realized that I never posted that pancake recipe!!

Gluten-Free Pancakes

1 1/2 Cups Gluten-Free Arrowhead Mills All Purpose Baking Mix
1 Tb sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 mashed banana ( or 2 TB oil )
1 Tb vinegar PLUS enought milk to make 1 Cup (or use buttermilk)
4 egg whites

Combine everything except the egg whites.
Whisk or beat the egg whites to fluff them up (is that a cooking term??)LOL
Fold egg whites into batter mixture, let it sit for 5-10 minutes. (this seemed to be a prevalent step in most of the gluten free pancake recipes I came across)
Grease heated griddle (I used coconut oil as I had just bought it and have been trying it in many different recipes - it gave the pancakes a great taste!)

After I made 1/2 of the batch I really wanted some blueberry pancakes, so I folded in some berries- however when I did this, the batter seemed to lose some of it airiness. Next time I will fold the berries in with the egg whites (had to use those fresh Jersey blueberries!)

Enjoy!

something new is always brewing...

It has been a stretch between posts. I know- so for my sweet grandmothers and my uncle who actually read this blog, I apologize. Life takes hold, projects go on hiatus, and it's all a momma can do to keep the household afloat. Struggles? nah. We muddle through the best we can, learning as we go- and boy have I learned alot! Life throws curveballs and we can still knock it out of the park! Projects get left behind, only to be finished better than ever after a fresh prospective and more knowledge on the subject at hand. THIS is life, and life is good!

Most recently for me, after putting it off for several years, 2 babies and being sick of feeling sick all the time, I went to the doctor and didn't take no for an answer. I knew something was not right, tired, headaches, stomaches- all the time! I knew it was something I was eating, but what? I eat pretty clean, eat all my fruit and veggies, what could it be? I suspected gluten. I was partly correct. It seems my testing has led me to see that I am allergic to soy and eggs. Hello? I eat eggs every day and soy is in, well, it's in everything!! Corn showed up on the testing too, but I am taking baby steps here.

Gluten free is pretty easy for me. The eggs part is pretty difficult, and the thing with food allergies/intolerances is that many symptoms do not show up immediately so it is very difficult to figure out for most people. So I will still use eggs in baking, just not eat egg based dishes for now. I learned that you have to be persistent when it comes to your health ( and that of your family as well ). When Sarah was a baby I knew something was not right and figured out she was allergic to milk ON MY OWN. The doctors were surprised when they finally tested her because her symptoms were not what they considered normal. huh. interesting to me......

Then it happens that I go over my goals for the year to see how I am doing. My goal was to obtain my personal trainer cert. I find my focus for a while has been the nutrition part though. I am struggling with not doing what I set out to do. Time to refocus. I glance around my dining room...tons of cookbooks. I mean tons (if you have been to my house you KNOW what I am talking about!) I cannot seem to leave the supermarket without grabbing a magazine full of recipes. I even recently became a consultant for Tastefully Simple. I have always loved to tweak recipes to make them healthier, a little wheat germ here (although no more for me), a little ground flaxseed there. Just started playing around with coconut oil when I made gluten free pancakes this morning and I must say they were out of this world! Even Hubby would not have noticed the difference!

So today I think I learned that the things that make our life more difficult can actually help us see the place we want to go in the long run. Do I really need to maintain a gluten-free diet? no, I don't. That is if I want to feel sick all the time. Did I enjoy playing around with recipes this morning to make these amazing pancakes? yes, I do. Is is ok to not accomplish a goal you set our to do if you find your passions elsewhere? absolutely!

First things first- I cannot believe that it has been almost a month without any posts! I'm really not that interesting or busy, so I have no excuse except for laziness. Let's see- got a new camera- Nikon - so excited to play around with that- now I just need a tripod. (Yes, Hubby- MORE $$$!! ) Keeping busy with the kids, who at the moment- Sarah is sick, fever gone, but throat still swollen, will probably bring her to the dr today to have it checked out. JR- watching Sesame Street at the moment, so I have a few moments before I need to "entertain". Have been a bit under the weather myself with allergies, being in Jersey in the spring and all- I miss the gym!!! Need a good spinning workout VERY SOON!!!

Easter this weekend, so dinner with the family in the afternoon and I will attempt to bring Sarah to church for the first time.... she has been going to Sunday school- which is held at our church during mass time, which is so smart and so great! We shall see how that goes!

I could blab on, but I hear the closing credits music on the television and need to get the kids up and about...

what to do....

I have been meaning to grow up. What I mean by that is, to figure out what I want to be when I grow up... then I realize I am 35 and should be a grown up by now, right? I have found out that I love being pregnant and love the baby thing, but Octomom- I am not! We have our 2 children and Hubby has decided that is enough. Ok, so what else am I good at? I am obsessed with nutrition ever since the kids were born, even more when I found out all their little food allergies and asthma. I know how good and full of energy I feel when I eat right and don't self medicate with food. I get so upset when I see entire families that either don't know how to take care of themselves, or just don't care to. I see how powerful exercise is in my own life and mental state (questionable at times), and how important it is for my kids to get moving ALOT!



So I throw it out to the world..I have been meaning to study all the personal training stuff and get that certification..have all the stuff. I love reading any nutrition or fitness book that I can get my hands on. There ya go. The answer.

muscles!!!!!

keeping up with the delusion

I don't "not blog" on purpose, life just gets in the way. A beautiful life it is. But as they say- just not enough time in the day.

2 little ones. Preschool. Momma's gym time. Momma would like to study for her personal trainer cert and also find an online accredited school to start studying nutrition. A house (which we are so blessed with ). But, one must clean that house and cook the food (the food which no one seems to like the same things, and then you throw in some food allergies and supertasters and cooking is not as much fun as it used to be!) Hubby (who doesn't get more than a ham sandwich and a smile in the morning sometimes). Then I find a moment to get online...yes I can blog! First there's Facebook, then I log onto Weight Watchers (which I would say is for "research", but I actually find solace there....) Then I try to shoot out some Creative Memories emails. By the time I get to Blogger, I am needed elsewhere.

So I will try to keep up - for my sanity, and for my Grandmothers' enjoyment.

It gets very frustrating sometimes when you work out super hard but you know damn well that ya need to clean up your diet even more. Frustrating because I know what needs to be done, but put a nice plate of cookies in front of me and I can't resist. I know, I know - MODERATION. That of course is the key here. But sometimes, when the kids are napping, the house is quiet and ya just want to let loose- like on a plate of cookies or leftover treats. Who wants to clean? Not really my favorite thing to do lately. Fold laundry- seriously, who really enjoys that?

UGH! Back to reality and finding my own little motivating factor.