Hallo-rude-een

I do enjoy Halloween much more now that I have children. I however, do not enjoy some other children during Halloween. I did not enjoy the child (about 11 yrs old) who, knocked on my door, then did not say "Trick or Treat"( which annoys me, why not just say - "Give me candy". THEN proceeded to talk on his cell phone, while I had to try to squirm MY hand into HIS bag to give HIM candy. Hello! Didn't your mother teach you manners? Please, to all moms that give your kids cell phones, please teach them manners, such as "Excuse me, I need to answer this, it is my Mom", or if the child looks down and sees it is a friend and NOT his mother making sure her baby is alright, for this child to ignore the call and let it go to voicemail. I am quite sure if a preteen can handle a cell phone, or Ipod, or whatever, he can handle calling someone back.

Then there was the child who walked up to my door, which was just the screen door since it was such a beautiful day today and just stood there peering in, I looked up from the couch, startled that there was no knock or doorbell, and I said "Yes?" as I walked to the door, he just said "I just want candy". Hello? So being the bitch I am, I made him say "Trick or Treat", then "Thank You". My daughter is 2 years old and she knows to say these things. I remind her all the time of manners and such, and demand that sort of behavior. Not only for me, but for her interaction with the rest of the world. Yes, she is a toddler and is allowed to be that. But, it really gets me upset when so many kids seem to have no manners whatsover!

so sorry for the rant, now onto the cutie pies:

Jr- my little pumpkin

Sarah- mommy's little witch

great day

nice weather

Grandma's house

Trick or Treating

bedtime

aah! I love my life.

Happy Halloween!

Should be doing....

I should be organizing these pictures



or learning how to use this blasted sewing machine
(still no curtains in my bedroom)




or walking on the treadmill





Instead I am taking pictures of my little boy, that someday, when he is the star running back at Notre Dame, will come back to haunt him, embarrass him, and make him say "what the hell Mom?"




But I cannot help myself because he is just too cute!!!

Dora the punky head

Finally carved out the pumpkin last night. Of course, like everything I put off and put off, it didn't take me long at all, and it actually didn't come out too bad. Sarah loves it, so now we have to make sure to light the tealight inside before she goes to bed at night. Speaking of which, she stayed up over an hour late last night because we had dinner at my Mom's and of course had to stay for pumpkin pie. So, after we got her to bed at like 8:30pm, hubby and I thought - ooh, great, maybe she'll sleep late. So we turned back the clocks and hour and went to bed.

At 5:24am this morning, JR started softly crying, and then Sarah started with "Momma, come get Sazzie" (what she calls herself). Hello! Their little bodies still told them it was 6:30 am, even though they stayed up late. Now, everyone is napping and I am trying to get my internet hopping out of the way so I have no excuse to not walk on the treadmill tonight.

What I learned today: Children will always wake up very early, especially when you want to sleep in.

It's raining, it's pouring

Of course when it's windy as all hell and raining out, my sweet little daughter wants to play outside. She doesn't want to take her nap today. Every toy I hand to her little brother gets taken away with a small, but very powerful voice saying "mine". Hello! Ya know the cookies you ate yesterday from off my plate? Mine! The cheese and crackers I made myself for a snack that you grabbed? Mine! Yes, I am a greedy mom. I like my time, my own food, my treadmill time, my internet time. Do I get it, no! I know, it's sounds so horrible to say all this, because truly I don't want to ever think about my life without my children. But it can be so exhausting! And I have it so easy compared to so many people - I would never be able to work and take care of my children, the house. I would never be able to handle twins or more than say, 3 kids. I can't even keep my own cluttery piles of junk cleared out, much less 2 kids rooms, playroom, and living room. Forget my bedroom, I just throw things over the gate in the doorway that we don't want the kids to touch, and then by the time I make it to sleeptime, I just clear a pathway to the bed. I guess I am just not that "perfect mother" that I thought, or hoped I could be.

We'll have dinner tonight at my Mom's, which makes me so happy that I don't have to cook. Or think of what to cook. Or shop for what to cook. So then, what the hell am I bitching about today?

There's always something.

Like the neverending pile of dirty laundry..
The dishwasher that always needs to be emptied when I need to fill it..
The pile of magazines that I have yet to read..
The cleaning supplies in the bathroom, waiting to be used..
The remaining thank-you cards that I need to finish writing from JR's Christening (was in Sept)..
The summer clothes that need to be put away..
The outgrown baby clothes that need to be put away..
And the list goes on.......

Hello again

I cannot believe it is Thursday already and I have not written anything this week! My motivation for anything has been in the toilet and it begs to ask the question "what did I do all week?".

Well, Sarah played with Play-Do for the first time, and it was awesome! An entire hour she played and molded and mushed. She watched me keenly with those little blue eyes and mimicked every roll and smush that I made - it was way cool! I do have to buy more now, since the stuff we have is now all smushed together into a very interesting little swirly pattern of colors.

My little JR has been teething and now has 4 teeth. Today he seems to be out of sorts and has been nursing every hour! Hello - my nips feel like someone has scrubbed them with a brillo pad and I am tired -but I did walk the treadmill, so hurray for me! My little man also had his 6-month well visit on Tuesday and he is weighing in at whopping 21 lbs 8 oz.


**Thank you to the wonderful man who came up to me at Barnes & Noble the other day and gave me the balance left on his gift card. It was such a nice thing to do and the $7.92 was enough to buy one more book for the kids. (I am not sure whether I looked so bad that he felt I "needed" the money or he thought I was a single mom because my wedding ring still doesn't fit) But he had helped me with the door when I arrived, and then he came looking for me in the children's section after he had paid for his items. He handed me the gift card and said to buy something for the kids. I thank him and promise to pay it forward.


coming soon - potty training ( I do not even know where to begin)

This evening I am wiped out!
After -

• dancing with Sarah (someone has to show her who U2 is)
• making dinner
• cleaning up dinner (dishes, sweep up, clean high chair)
• bathing Sarah
• waking JR to nurse him and put him back to bed
• reading to Sarah and putting her to bed
• cutting hubby's hair
• vacuuming hair off the floor
• finally taking a shower of my very own (ah, Calgon take me away, far away)

this was all between 4:30pm and 7:15 pm, so yeah I am tired. I wanted to do so many things today - make new curtains for my bedroom, organize my photos (so when I am scrapbooking it is a little easier to find stuff), run to Target for a few things (alone). But none of it ever happened. I feel like life is sometimes like a merry-go-round that you can't get off and you just keep getting stuck doing the same things - I must wipe down the high chair 12 times a day between Sarah's meals and snacks, and now JR gets a little food now. I can't get away from the normal daily mundane routine stuff to do extra stuff, and yet, the daily stuff is what keeps the house going.

How do those perfect little happy housewives with their perfect little happy husbands and perfect little happy kids get it all in there? How do you clean the house, take care of the kids, actually shower and blow dry your hair (within the same 1 hour time-frame), make meals, socialize, feed your head, make time for your marriage and other close relationships, shop, and anything else that needs to be done, all in 1 day? I am starting to feel like I am always one step behind. I watch my diet and try to find some time to walk or exercise, and then something else is going to lag. I drill away endless time on the internet or my blog, and I feel guilty about what I could be doing more "productive".

Oh and now I have to find some time for Christmas shopping ??? Hello internet!! Bring on the shipping charges!!

punky pickin

Today was pumpkin picking day, or as Sarah called it "punky pickin". It was a cool day and the farm was crowded. We tried to walk through the little petting zoo area and I kept stopping to show the animals to Sarah, but like a bird freed from it's cage, she just wanted to run. Up and down the isles. Along the fence. Through the mud tracks left by the tractor pulling the hayride. Run Run Run. Hubby pushed JR in the stroller so he certainly had the easy job. As I went to turn another corner to catch up with Sarah, hubby pointed the other direction towards more animals. I quickly advised him that nap time had been missed, we needed to think about lunch and get this child a "punky", NOW. We headed off towards the pumpkin patch and I quickly found a nice fat round one. We took a couple pics, paid for our large veggie and we were off.





So now, as I try to conjure up some extra creativity, I am looking for a new direction in which to take my jack-o-lantern adventure. I definately found way too much info on the internet, and if I could, I would just carve out Dora the Explorer. But I have neither the patience or time for such an intricate little dissection. So I am off to figure out what we'll do with the "punky".....

On the move

My little man is on the move. I place my sweet baby boy of 6 months down for 2 minutes and he makes it clear across the living room by rolling over, while also including a new move I like to call "The Inchworm". He sticks his cute little coolie up in the air and pushes with his feet and off he goes! He has started food (I guess if you can call rice cereal mixed with hot water food), but the little booger enjoys it. He grabs at the spoon, he loves holding a sippy cup, and yet, he never took to a bottle. This boy loves to eat. He sees his sister eating and now he reaches for everything she puts to her mouth. I had to explain to her that sharing is not good in this instance. Way to confuse a kid!




Sarah loves her art time and we find even a moment to do something artsy-fartsy every day. Today we did some Halloween decorations. By noontime she was sick of them and tore them to shreds.



As far as food goes, she does not like anything and her diet consists of apples and Cheerios. I can sometimes get her to eat a yogurt if I bribe her with some raisins. I am quite sure that her little brother will outgrow her within a matter a days.

Momma side note: I am feeling quite housebound today as it rained and the wind was a little too strong for my babies later in the day, so I am severely looking forward to "punky" picking and the petting zoo tomorrow.

Momma's Dance Club

I finally got to listen to my new Justin Timberlake cd this week. I picked it up at Target about 2-3 weeks ago. Anyway, I have been trying to turn off the TV more often because Sarah is getting a little obsessive that it be on all the time. So I popped in the cd (no glass of wine) and we danced around the living room together. Even the little man got into it from his Exersaucer. My little girl is quite the dancer, and I have found a new little way to sneak in some exercise.

It used to be (before kids) that when I bought a new cd, I would pour a glass, (or two, or three), or wine and blast the music while, (at 1o pm), I was just getting ready to go out. Now, I am in bed by 10 pm.

One fine day

The morning was a little hairy as JR is teething and never wants to be put down. The fact that he weighs about 22-23 lbs now is not so good for my back, but anything to keep my baby happy. After Sarah ate some lunch I put her down for her nap around 11:45am. She fought me about it, as she does all the time now. I let her play in her crib, and after about 35 minutes I went in to get her. I figured if she wasn't asleep by now, I might as well let her come out. So, I opened up her door, mind you, I am still holding the big baby boy, and I saw her sitting on her pillow. As I looked closer I noticed her diaper was off and there was a poop on the middle of the mattress. Now my first thought was - Should I take a picture of this for my husband, or my blog, or anyone that wants to listen to my insanely silly baby stories, and then I thought - duh! no wonder why she didn't take a nap, I certainly wouldn't take a nap with a big ole turd staring me in the face. She just looked up at me and said "Momma, I pooped". Yes dear, you did. So I asked her not to touch Mommy with her hands until we were all cleaned up. At the same time, I had to put down big man for a little while, so my back and arms were happy.

After cleaning my little sweety pie up and changing the sheets and washing every stuffed toy and pillow that was in the vicinity, I realized that no nap meant Helltime later. It actually didn't turn out too bad. I ended up taking a walk down at the boardwalk with the kids Aunt LaLa and before I knew it, Sarah was asleep in the stroller. I cannot tell you the last time that happened.

After dinner tonight we did Art Time, so I let her do fingerpainting. I figured, she could have made a real mess with the poop earlier, and she really didn't, so what the heck. While my darling daughter was finishing up her masterpiece I filled up the bathtub so I could throw her right in. As I picked her up and took off her favorite smock (my old t-shirt) she looked up at me with those beautiful big blue eyes and said "I know, DON"T touch Momma". Right on girlfriend!

(By the way, I did not take a picture of the poop) Yay for me.

Do I want more children?

Having two children is great. It is difficult with them at the ages they are, 23 months and 6 months, but I do love it. I love that I get to be home with them all the time and I love that we have a large family to share all the holidays and such with. I find myself wondering lately though, why I am so deadset on having a third child?

I keep thinking about how impatient and aggravated I get with Sarah lately. I keep thinking about how I yearn to find my own passion in this life. I find myself feeling irritated at times when I cannot even stop at WaWa for a cup of coffee because I do not want to leave my kids in the car, nor do I want to drag two babies in for a 2 minute stop. I miss my "free time" even though I am quite sure I wasted so much of it away. I miss vacations with my husband and late nights at the bar with friends. I miss getting up to go to work, getting dressed up and knowing I looked good, or that someone else noticed I looked good. I miss working because, no matter what job I had, I always worked hard and it was always appreciated and I was always told so.

I think about my life and how very lucky I have been with everything and I just really wonder, why do I feel so strongly that I want another child? I guess it's because nothing has ever filled my life as much as my children. Nothing has ever made me feel like I am where and who I need to be at this moment, as I do right now. I push myself to play in the sandbox and fingerpaint and do all the things I wouldn't be doing without them. I find that I am enjoying my "child within", maybe more than I did as a child - without the angst and fear that I had. I have never trusted my gut or instincts until now, and I see that I am very intuitive and can find the answers, most of them, right here inside me. Being a mother has opened up a part of me that I hid away. Now, it sure sounds great all typed out, but the truth is, it is also not as glamorous as I had imagined - wearing sweatpants and no make-up all day, being spit-up on and actually picking nose boogies with my bare fingers, really, I never thought it possible. But, I do see the importance of it all - no, not the nose boogies, but the raising of my children, the future, all that.

Making Strides and Tantrums

Today was the Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk and it was a beautiful day. The sun was strong and the air was cool down at the Jersey Shore. My Mom and I walked, pushing along the stroller with the 2 kids. I am a very emotional person and I certainly got all choked up when the speakers get up beforehand and tell their stories, but these women are so inspirational. To hear their strength during the darkest time of their lives really makes you think.

Thank you again to all my friends and family that donated.

Before the walk began

After the walk

Sarah had a bit of a tantrum from wanting to walk by herself and being tired. She screamed so loud and so long and I sware that I have never seen her like that before. She was not a happy camper, especially when I pulled out the camera ( ya know, I am one of those people that gets so worked up when watching "funny home videos" or whatever on TV when you see the child screaming or whatever and the parent is just sitting there taping it and laughing at them) Yeah, so I guess that parent is now officially me. It's not that I didn't want to comfort my child, she was truly inconsolable. By the time we made it back to the car, no one was happy, not Momma and definately not her.

My little fat pumpkin was fine once the walk began and I had to hold him for a while. Yes, I carried the big man (all 22 lbs of him) while walking amongst thousands of people, at least until he fell asleep. He slept the remaining time we walked, through the tantrum and passing the bagpipers too!

Once we got back to the car it was difficult to leave the area since so many other people were still walking. So we drove in a few circles and then I decided to pull over into a vacant spot and nurse him. (well, he actually is the one that made that decision with his whining) I picked him up and carried him back into the front seat with me when I felt a little wetness. It seems he had pooped through his diaper and onesie and I retrieved him just in time. So I walked back around the car and started changing him on the floor of my oh-so-cool minivan. Well, it was like an operation room gone bad. Poop everywhere, me screaming - I need another wipie-STAT! Of course I had no change of clothes for him, because frankly, I always have one and today I just needed the extra space in the diaper bag. My poor Mom is probably hating me right now between the snapping at her in the car when we were trying to find a way out of town and the Poop-Change-From-Hell.

What I learned today: Always bring a change of clothes for babies, no matter where you go - Also lots of baby wipes

Motivational Day Tomorrow

I am heading off to bed earlier than usual tonight because my awesome Mom and I are participating in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in Point Pleasant Beach. It is an American Cancer Society event that was was started in 1993. Last year alone, across the United States $34 million dollars was raised for breast cancer research. My sister-in-law is a breast cancer survivior and now, my Mom's cousin is being treated for breast cancer. So, this cause hits very close to home for me.

We will be bringing the kiddies and the camera and I will post some pics and info when I get home, all revved up and feeling good and ready to save the world.

I'm thinking breasts is a good a place as any to start........

(I tried to get hubby to come, I told him that all the women - how many thousands of us - would be walking topless..... he didn't buy it.)

My children's future

What am I doing to ready my children for their future? What type of people will they be? Today, it seems that you turn on the news and it is filled with celebrity gossip and biased political rantings. I don't want to think that my daughter will introduce herself at a job interview as a Democrat or Republican. I don't think that it is anymore important whether her shoes come from Nordie's or Payless. How will my son fare while playing high school sports when it is so clear that even township politics affects school board decisions?
Our country is so divided by politics, race and religion. Why do I see more on the news about an actor's drunken statements than the rebuilding on the Gulf Coast? Why are people so shocked by said statements? I hear the same things in conversations all the time - in a local restaurant, on the sidelines of a children's football game? We seem to judge others and divide ourselves. Even the deeply religious people I know judge others, by sexual orientation, or racial background. My God does not segregate.
Do we not all live on the same planet? Are we not all human beings?
I think that we need to put down our cell phones and turn off the entertainment channels a little more often and pay more attention to what is going on in our homes, cities, and our nation. I am afraid for what will come for the next generation. I am afraid that more and more people will continue to dislike election times because of the scathing campaign commercials and the distrust of our policiticians. "Public service" right? I guess we need to make it "self service" to make something good happen.

It appears that no matter how many toys you have, the tag is the best thing to play with:


Two kids teething and the only one feeling the pain seems to be Mommy. JR just chews away on anything he can get his pudgy little fingers on and will only cry when a) Mommy puts him down so she can pee or b) Mommy leaves the room to pee or do anything housewife-like. Then there's Sarah, she is the "Terribly Two Teething Toddler" and although she also seems to feel no pain, she chokes on her drool, which by the way, makes her vomit up entire meals, then so cutely, she asks for a brownie. But please Mommy. Yeah, like I will give her a brownie on an empty stomach. Ok, yeah, I will. Then, due to the "drool problem" she has a nasty poop and diaper rash. Hello ? I clean butts and wipe boogers for a living. I cannot wait until I find the opportunity to put that on my resume.

Dinner tonight was themed "Make Your Very Own Egg Night", and my husband, I love him so much, but, left me to clean up the mess. The whole point to a "Make Your Own" anything is so that I can get a break. He will just have to make me my ice cream sundae tonight while watching Grey's Anatomy. Nevermind, I will end up cleaning it up in the morning anyway. Besides, my ice cream has become my silent partner, my drug of choice, my think-about-it-all-day-can't-wait-til-the-damn-kids-go-to-bed-treat. Nobody, I mean, nobody touches my ice cream.

That is why I started yet another blog , one to chronicle my sick and twisted journey to find moderation and satisfaction with my God-given body (with a few tweaks here and there). Nutritionally sound and not too active is all I am looking for here.

I cannot believe that my little girl is going to be 2 years old next month. It is so crazy to think that within the past 3 years I have gotten married and had 2 children! Actually, to really think about it, my entire married life I have been pregnant or nursing (fun fun fun). Anyway, she is so smart and so cool and she has made me realize that there really is more to life than me-me-me!!!
She sings (the wrong words, but still, it's cute) I peaked in on her yesterday in her room singing and I heard "suuunny day, chase da clowwn awaaay" It was so cute!
She says "No" and means it, unlike her Mommy who can back down too quickly so as to avoid an arguement. But, I did watch Oprah recently and I do not want to be one of those pushover-spoil-my-kids-rotten-moms whose kids never move out, nor do they ever respect anyone or anything. Soooo, I have been doing the time out thing lately and it seems to work well with her.
She loves her new "bwown shoos", and if it were up to her, she would wear them to bed and in the bathtub.
She loves her little "boodgie man", her nickname for her little brother, that we have all picked up on calling him lately.
She can pick up on the theme song for Dora the Explorer, Diego, or Sesame Street, and if you are flipping channels she will scream at you to stop on her show, even from the other side of the house.
She remembers who bought her what article of clothing, and will remind me everyday when she gets dressed who it came from (usually my Mom or sister).
She must sit in her own seat at night when I read her bedtime stories, no longer on my lap. This makes me sad, but I know it is just her and her independance, so I'll go with the flow - for now.
She learns something new everyday, as do I.

Lately all you see on magazines and the news is this big controversy how actresses and models are "too thin". It certainly seems to be much worse than years before, and I could not imagine being a young teen at this time. I was talking with a friend today and I said that the days I feel the best about myself are the days that I don't turn on the television or read a magazine. We are bombarded with images and headlines that tell us we are not good enough. I saw an interview on a talk show recently where actress Jamie Lee Curtis was discussing her new book and she was so on point about the whole act of living life fully and not making it about the destination, but the journey itself.
I know the whole thing seems so "too deep" to be thinking about with so many fun things I could be doing right now, with both kids in bed sleeping and the house to myself, but I cannot help wondering :How am I going to teach my children, especially my daughter, to trust and honor herself, her body, her intuition? To not compare herself to others and try to mold herself into an unhealthy image? To see that what makes her different from others are her blessings not something to be put aside? How can I teach her all of this when I do not even see it in myself?