Being different

Someone asked me the other day "why do you blog? why do you put such personal thoughts out there for anyone to read?" It got me thinking about why I do it, and who I like to read. I enjoy reading bloggers such as Dana and marsha_tm . Women who are funny and witty, and that can turn the story of going to Costco or buying a new toddler potty into the coolest story ever. I too, dreamt of being witty and cute, but alas, I find I am not. I tend to be emotional, slightly melodramatic, and wanting to be intuitive. I can be motivational at times. I started writing online because I was lacking something. Home alone all day with 2 babies and I wondered, "does anyone feel this way or that? is this normal?" Normal, I have found, is just a word. A word that means something different to everyone, so now, I have to ask "is this healthy?" I needed to find out what other moms feel and think and do. The truth is, we all do it different and the same. We all look for that normalcy, and yet, still yearn to stand out in the crowd. We all dislike cleaning(well there are some who like it, just not I) and the drudgery of it all. We all want our children to be good people and succeed in life.

I need to learn to embrace what makes me different, just as I would do with my own child. I would tell my daughter not to dress a certain way just because everyone else is doing it. I will tell my son he doesn't have to play a certain sport just because his father says he should if he really doesn't enjoy it. So now, I have to really put myself out there. I really hope that something fun and twisted happens along the way so I can share the laughter that some of you have shared with me. But I'm finding that if I want my children to learn to walk a certain way, I am definately going to have to walk it first. My Sarah loves to dance, because I do and we make the time for it. My son, he likes to eat (ha ha, must also be from me). The goal has always been to raise healthy, smart and individual kids, but now, that goal is for myself too. It's too easy to get lost underneath and behind everything at home.