I try to sit and remember what my dreams were for myself when I was young. I remember wanting to be a dancer or singer. I remember always wanting to write and have the world know and accept me. I also remember being frightened and always having an excuse as to why I didn't follow my dreams. Now when I try to find what it is that thrills me (except for my hubby and kids of course), I get stuck. I get into eating right and working out, feeling really good, and I think "Oh, I should be a trainer, or a nutritionist". I get organized and motivated and I think "Oh, I want to be a personal life coach". It's sometimes difficult for me to find "me" in all of the stuff around me, the housework, the diapers, the husband.
I think now, more than ever, it is so important, especially for my daughter, that I find what makes up "me". Can it be all those things above? Or, are those the things I am looking for outside of myself, for someone else to help me with? Sort of like a "doctor heal thyself" thing. The truth is I will probably never know and the only thing that does help is knowing that so many other people don't know either.
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