I never did go to college (2 classes a few yrs ago, which I ended up dropping one of them).
I do regret it, although I try hard not to. I have some focus on the things that interest me and I sometimes feel lost in it. I am home now with two beautiful children, sometimes wanting another, sometimes cursing my own craziness. When I was a child I thought 32 yrs old sounded so, well old. Now I certainly know better and just wonder if it is too late to begin something new. To start a new career, new thoughts in a completely different field. It is scary to think about, to be the "new kid" again. But my main thought is how?? I cannot even read People magazine in the bathroom by myself, how can I take on new education? Classes? Perhaps a part-time job at a gym where I would like to be?? The YMCA perhaps? So many questions and I just don't know where to start, much less where I will end up. Can I do this, and yet still be present for my family? Too many questions and ways out of it..... To much to procrastinate about, because I think there will always be "something" there, kids, soccer games, holidays, sick family members, friends. Trying to fit it all in, is it possible to fit it all in? So instead of waiting for the perfect time, I guess I need to do something.
just not sure what yet
3 comments:
Never easy to find that something...
If you do not know what that something is...
So very hard to find answers....
hey again.
i just want to encourage you. the kids are wonderful to be with, but sometimes mom needs a separate world for herself, too, something outside of the family. perhaps you could just start up again with one class in something you would just wildly enjoy, and see how that goes, before going at it full-time. just an idea..
i do know it is an extreme challenge to juggle full-time work or school with young kids (it's my life!). as they get a bit older, things may ease up.. i don't know, i'm still waiting for that day! whatever you decide, i will certainly cheer you on :)
hang in there...you're in the throes of the most time-consuming part of parenthood. Soon, your children will be a bit older and you can focus some of your attention on yourself again.
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