Monday, May 21, 2007

Crappy Mom

Hello! I believe we have met before. I am Crappy Mom. I yelled and cursed already this morning at my 2 year old. And, oh yes, she has now taken to repeating the word "stupid" about everything because I was having a fit this morning while trying to snap them into my new double jogging stroller. The straps are completely, well, stupid. So now, everything she sees and does today is, well, stupid.

After cursing out my new little beauty, I grabbed the cell phone (because God forbid we walk around unplugged for 30 minutes!) and was on my way. The "stupid" straps along their shoulders allow my wiggly wonder to unharness herself. I saw her leaning all the way over and pulled myself over to the curb (because God forbid this town actually have any sidewalks anywhere) and proceeded to yell and try to fit her back in. I am quite sure the people who lived at that house were glad to hear my melodious screams at 8:30am. Anyway, I was annoyed at her kicking me and yelling "no, stupid Momma" that I gave her a little swat on the ass. As I did this, a van with two older gentlemen stopped right in front of us. I wasn't sure if it was the childbeating they thought they were witnessing, or the fact that their van, another car going in the opposite direction, and my big ole double wide did not fit in the road all at the same time. I venture to think they saw me bending over and thought "Lo-o-rdy, what in the hell....?" But whatever. So now, these two old men think I am a childbeater and everymorning when I walk and yell, they will see me and say "There's that there childbeater"(or the woman with the really large ass).

We all arrived home safe and sound to have a small snack and settle my little man into his morning nap. I took Sarah outside to do some gardening. Well, not really gardening, we rolled out these little seed rolls and poured some water on them. My little angel walked through the mud, onto my neatly folded up towel (for me to kneel on) and trampled over the actual real flowers I had planted last week. Her big Dora doll was dragged through the dirt and then I couldn't hear enough about how I needed to clean her, "No Momma, right nooowww!!!"
My dear neighbors probably heard me yell "no" more times than they would have cared to.

Ps- I am still waiting for that patience that I ordered to arrive. Can someone please track that package for me?

2 comments:

Deborah said...

oh, we all have days like those! hope tomorrow is better :)

Stepping Over the Junk said...

Oh man, I have days like that...sometimes it happens at some point, every day! I just have to make sure I shut the windows before I yell. OSmetimes you cant plan for it though.