Morning Monster Madness

This silly computer again! I woke up nice and early this morning due to the baby needing to be nursed. After finishing with his business, I got dressed and proceeded to come downstairs to work out. The CD-ROM on my computer is not detecting any disks it seems (which I have never had a problem with before) and I spent what felt like ages fiddling with it when I truly have no clue what I am doing. After a few minutes of that nonsense, I picked my behind up off the nice comfy chair to work out for a little while. I am really not that great with computers and I am not wanting to spend any free time (uh, what is that anyways??) futzing with this monster. Perhaps I should just ignore the problem, ya know, the way hubby ignores his dirty socks balled up on the floor? Just walk right by and pretend the problem does not even exist. Problem with that - it's my computer- not hubby's, so the only person troubled is me. So I figure I will Google some info later tonight while drinking my evening tea and try to figure it out.

Snowless

Once again I was all excited for some snow and once again I woke up to an inch of slush. Living near the coast, this tends to happen. I don't know, I see the excitement in my little girl's eyes when she goes to bed and it is snowing, I just cannot wait to see her happy little face in the morning. Now I certainly know that the impending disappointment will last only a minute when she wakes, but still, I remember being young and how exciting it was.

I remember sitting in my classroom when the first flake started to fall and feeling that edgy feeling in my gut, "when are they gonna let us out?? school has got to close for this!!" I remember the hour long production it was for my own Momma to dress us all (4 of us a that time) to go out into the blustery fun. Then there was the madness of tearing everything off, fingers numb, belly's aching for a warm cup of cocoa afterwards.

Perhaps, I am just aching myself for that excitement. For some fun and throwing snowballs. For some warm cocoa with marshmallows floating on top. My red frozen fingers wrapped around a steaming mug, everyone sitting around the kitchen table smiling and excitedly interrupting the others with their stories of wet, snowy adventures.

aahh, sounds good.. I better call my sister today for a visit and some cocoa....

now-a-days

I did not catch the red carpet tonight,
nor did I Google the new scandalous pics of the NJ American Idol contestant.
I did think how sad it is that poor Anna Nicole's body is being fought over, and the judge seems to be caring more about his 15 minutes of fame.
I did think how sad I am for Brit and all the young and famous that have to go thru the low parts of their lives with the world watching them through the ever-present camera lens.
I am afraid for young girls that care more that their thong does show thru the tops of their pants, and for the fact that this younger generation seems to regard sexual activies as nonchalantly as picking out a new movie at Blockbuster.
I grew up in the 80's where baggy sweatshirts and leggings were hot.
Big hair and slouchy socks.

I am hoping for my daughter's sake that things start to change. How do we teach our daughters self respect when "everybody is doing it??" and I mean they seem to be doing everything.


Just had to get it all out.

Goings on

We got a new dinette set last night, which I love!

Sarah almost surprised me when grabbing veggies off the counter, I really thought she was gonna eat it!



Little man is sick with a cold-cough, but I think he'll be ok in a few days.

I seem to lacking lately on time management, passion for cooking and extra cash. So, as I try to develop a "get rich scheme" for hubby and I, I am wondering aloud "what am I good at"? Hubby would laugh and mutter something like "argueing" or "being a pain in the a--", but I have to say, I do think that although I cannot motivate myself somedays, I am pretty good at motivating others. So, where does that put me? - watch out Tony Robbins!!!

Clean it up

It is so amazing how cleaning up and rearranging some furniture can really pick you up when you need it. My hardwood floors needed a good cleaning, and I moved a couch so the living room looks so much bigger now! Hubby will probably not like the fact that his "seat" is not directly in front of the monstrous television that we own, but I can see the kiddies much better from my everlasting station in the kitchen. Does anyone else get stuck in the vortex of cleaning-and-cooking? It seems to be a neverending chore around here. But, it is 2:30pm, the little ones are napping, I have made a fresh cup of coffee, and I am settled here on the net. (feeling stress free for the moment)

I have a new found energy to do some projects, but I know that I should (there's that word), I SHOULD finish up the things that I have already begun. I do however, need to do some more research on ebay, since we have a few items around here that I would like to sell. ( we could use the extra cash, and I have been thinking about doing some sort of work from home, so I thought I would try to sell a few things to see how I do). Time seems to be the biggest problem right now for me (as for every Mommy out there, I know). I want to learn so much right now. I started a home study program for certification for Personal Trainer, which, I cannot even read as much as I thought I would be able to!! I would like to learn HTML ( for my Nanny's who are reading, that is the web-language, for building web-sites and stuff). I would like to run on the treadmill instead of hanging clothes on it. I suppose my biggest time obstacle is the fact that I love my sleep at night. I need it. I am in bed by 9:30pm most nights, knowing full well that there is so much I could be doing. But, I do know that for me to be a good and happy Momma, I need to be a well rested Momma. With that, right now I think I will move those clothes and hop on the treadmill for a little.

Feeling Sick

It is a wonderfully ill feeling day in our home. Hubby is sick, throat infection and chest cold, which is really aggravating his asthma. I started to feel sick yesterday but scared the crap out of the germies by dousing myself with salt-water gargles and drinking Vit C supplements. But of course it has happened that I have yet another (sorry TMI) female infection. Ever since I had my Little Girl I get them all the time! It sucks, plain and simple. Through my whole pregnancy with the Little Man until now.
Please God, can I have my crotch back ?

V-Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

wonderful, awesome hubby brought home some yummy choco-covered strawberries and pretzels, so he gets a *star* for the day!! the kiddies and I made some cards on the computer for him and made him some chicken soup to ease his achy head-chest cold. rainy, cold weather and we are home for the day to enjoy each other's company (hopefully)

love to all.......

Slow Down

I have so many thoughts running around lately and no such organizational place for them. I don't even know where to start writing sometimes. So I pulled a card from the Observation Deck and it says simply - slow down. Perfect.

Enjoying and be grateful for what I have does not always come easy. Am I supposed to enjoy cleaning and all the home-keeping drudgery? Where does the fun come in with playing and laughing? I try to make the time for that, but I always feel as if there is something else I "should" be doing. Like ironing (yuck!) cleaning the fridge (yuck! yuck!) cleaning the bathtub in mine and hubby's bathroom (which we never use and I sware and curse every time I clean it out of all the hair and yuckiness that accumulates). I am home with my children. I am making sacrifices to be here, with them. So, I owe them that. To be here with them.

Now that the little cuties have been sleeping until 6-6:30 am, I would like to start using that extra hour (yes, 5 am) to get up and work out. I say this because 1) 8pm ain't working out for me, and 2)I am a happier-well-functioning-momma when I get my sweat on. The truth is, I love to exercise, but I cannot find the time to do it during the day. I know on the days I get it in, I physically feel better. I am emotionally ready to handle whatever comes my way. Mentally, I don't forget as much as I......(oops, sorry lost my thought..) So this goes with putting me first, which in turn will benefit others as well.

Slow Down. Slow Down. Slow Down.

Enjoy the kids without thinking what should I be doing.
Stop rushing around as if there is somewhere else I should be, I need to be here, in the moment, with my precious little ones before I lose this time.

Go to sleep little baby

Tonight is one of those evenings that I keep crawling over toward the computer, but I never quite make it here in time. Parched and weathered from the demands of a two year old who simply cannot decide what she wants at the moment - she wants to be both rocked in the rocking chair and put in her bed at the same time - she wants two music cd's playing her to sleep, but no matter which one I choose for her, it is the wrong one. I need to unwind, relax, de-something or other, but cannot yet breathe knowing that my little angel will soon be screaming for me again (I am so glad - lucky - that she doesn't do this all the time!!!) So my little oasis on the internet will just have to wait until I have some brain cells recharged for tomorrow...

Good Momma

There are times during my day where I wonder what type of mother am I? Am I a good mom? Will my children turn out ok and not so emotionally disturbed? Then I read a news report and see something like this and I have to scream out loud "Yes I am a good momma, hear me roar!!!"

Which now brings me to the question. I see my friends, and various Moms who have their "stuff" together and I wonder, do they really? Are they as dumbfounded as I sometimes? Do they questions every Mommy-Move they make? It really feels sometimes like there is a Mommy Club somewhere that I didn't learn the secret handshake to. The Club that gives you all the answers, like, to remember extra underwear and a plastic baggie in the diaper bag. Or to make sure there is an extra binky in every room of the house. If I don't get my hour to exercise alone each day, I really lose it. I need that for my sanity. Do you know how hard it is to do crunches with a 2 year old sitting on your stomach? Does that make me selfish? I sometimes wonder, because I am not so good all the time at this "mommy last" type of thinking. I sort of think, for me anyway, it would make me not such a good mommy.

A close friend of mine was on the phone today, and she is trying to get pregnant but it doesn't seem to be happening as quickly as she had hoped. I reminded her to relax about it. (this from a woman who got pregnant twice very quickly) As she spoke about the stressful things going on in her life currently, she said maybe she wasn't ready to have kids. I told her I don't think you are ever ready. I am still not ready. I guess if I was ready, it would take the challenge and the fun out of it all.

Library Trip

We had our first visit to the library this week. I have to thank all of the other mommy's who were coming out of a toddler group at that time for assuring me that my little angel (devil) was acting completely normal for her first time. They all assured me that their children (sitting ever so perfect and quiet) were the exact same way on their first trip (running between the aisles of books and screaming "Dora-Dora I want Dora!!"?? I wasn't so sure about that, but it made me feel a little better. I can sware sometimes that I have it all together, then, we leave the house and I am smacked in the face with a large dose of reality. I get flustered and I swore that would never be me. I was supposed to be the mom with the child of gold. I was supposed to have make-up on and my hair done and look ever so yummy at all times. I am supposed to use smarter words than "poop" and "tinkle". I was not going to yell (which apparently, I do quite often). By the way, does anyone have any anger-management tips on that to share with the group???? Don't hold out on me!

So it will be back to the library tomorrow to return a movie we borrowed last week. It will be a quick trip, but perhaps we'll sit and read a short book. The toddler group for this month is actually full already, so I will sign her up for the next one. By then, the in-laws will be home from Florida and then I can bother Momma-Inlaw to watch JR so I can take Sarah on her own. I know I need to start getting her out more (and me of course!!) and accustomed to different situations and places - any ideas???