I have been thinking lately about how self conscious I am and how it has really held me back from so much. I don't write as much as I would like for "fear" of what other people would think. As if my friends or family would disown me for my twisted thoughts - then again....
Or even when I was small, I never pushed to do anything, not even the things I felt passionate about. I just kept it inside so nobody would know. Money was an issue for my family, and being the eldest of 6 children I always felt it my responsibility to "step down" to make things easier. I have always felt myself to be an intuitive person and really try to go with it now. Trust my gut, go with my first instinct.

Having children has really changed so much inside me because now I feel it so important that I be that strong passionate person. A good role model. A loving mother. That means the simplest things now. To spend some time scrapbooking. To push myself to sew those stupid curtains I have been putting off forever (of course out of fear that I don't know what I am doing). To stop sabatoging my diet. To allow myself to be me. To not feel guilty when I need a Mommy-Alone-Moment. To not feel like I am failing because there is dust in the house or piles of laundry. To do these things because I cannot teach it if I cannot do it.