I know this might sound a bit crazy coming from someone who is the oldest of six children, but I really did not know how hard raising kids was. seriously. They soak in every little thing they see - what they watch on television, how they see other kids interact at the park, and yes, their own parents. Ugh! Now I have to grow up- stop cursing, curb my temper and bite my tongue before I say something completely innappropriate in my own house? I thought "good kids", you know, the ones that are sweet and nice and polite, were just born that way- so I really do have something to do with all this, huh?
When I see my little girl behave like a monster I cringe, "what are those other people thinking?" But when I really look at it, it's as if I am looking into a carnival mirror directing only my worst traits back at me. Impatience, negativity, a snarl, and a condescending tone, and I say to her "what is your problem- where did this come from ?" I take a D-E-E-P breath and realize exactly where it came from - ME!
In trying to be "effective" as a parent, I forgot to just be a parent. The whole loving part. Being in the moment and enjoying the whole journey, for this is in fact, our shared portion of the whole trip. Sooner than I will care to admit they will be on their own, at school, out with friends, making their own mark on the world. What is it I really want them to see and learn? Kindness, helping others, making someone else's life better. Am I reflecting these things when I yell back or find it more important to stand my ground and show 'em "whose the boss"? Maybe I could step back a little and let them start to make some small choices around here, chill out and just show them by example how to be a better person. I guess it really does start with one person....
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