garden life

In order for most of my garden things to grow I have to really pay attention - every day. Water, I usually forget, especially on the really hot days. Miracle Grow, well, just recently did I find that it really helps your flowers when you feed them the right things. What about sunlight? Some need it, alot. Some, not so much.

So it is with the kids. I see that "feeding" them with praise really does a hell of a lot more good than just picking out what is wrong. Preparing them before you go out with the rules and expectations helps them know the boundaries. Taking the time every day to have some special moment with them reminds me so much of why we chose to have a family, as opposed to clicking on the tv and expecting them to figure their way through the day on their own.

Self improvement books? Certainly don't need them anymore - kids are the perfect mirror for all your ill behaviors. Sarah's freak outs when she doesn't get her way -totally me. JR's stubborness- yeah, I'll take credit for that too. Really makes you take a look at yourself and fix some little things before jumping all over them about it. I mean, they do learn as we do, and Hubby and I are definately learning as we go.

so for now, we'll water and feed the garden, and patiently wait for our little family to bloom.

thank you

http://www.ace-clipart.com/american-flag-clipart-01.html

Thank you to the bravest,

the strongest,

the determined.

Thank you to my grandfathers and yours'.

To my brothers, and yours.

Thank you to the men & women who serve our country now and then.

being grateful

Then you rose into my life
Like a promised sunrise.
Brightening my days with the light in your eyes.
I've never been so strong,
Now I'm where I belong.

Maya Angelou

laundry list

I imagine if I got off the computer once in while, the laundry would not pile up this way...

Anyone up for a folding party??????

circles

We have begun a small project around the house, well, it's Hubby's project and it's really not that small- our bathroom! We have decided to take out the Whirlpool bathtub and install a custom large size shower. The current shower stall is very small and we will then convert that into a closet - YAY! a closet! Sarah and I went out food shopping last night, so the "boys" were working in the bathroom. JR was playing with one of those flat construction pencils and Hubby let him draw all over the plywood with it. He apparently had ALOT of fun with the pencil, because then he snuck out of the bathroom and drew ALL OVER my bedroom walls, closet door, and then the hallway.

This morning I asked him about it, and said "JR, what did you do with Daddy's pencil?" He looked at me, smiled, and said " I draw CIRCLES!!" Yes he did. many, many, circles....

The B....word

I have never been comfortable "forcing" the kids to eat. Each night I do place some sort of veggie on their plate only to have JR ignore it's presence and for Sweet Sarah to scream and cry that it is even on their plate. Never did I make them even take a bite. Last night both kids were just torturing us through dinner - refusing to eat anything, yelling to watch Spongebob, not sitting, being kids really. Hubby was great, Sarah whined and screamed and was immediately sent to her room. He sat patiently with JR and got him to eat his food. After a while, Sarah swore she would come out and eat everything, so we then sat her at the table. "no broccoli though", she mumbled. Back to her room she went. Finally she realized that this was no joke and she must have been hungry. She came back into the kitchen, ate her chicken and rice. I prodded her to try to very small (and I mean small!) piece of broccoli that was still sitting on her plate. "I don't like it, yuck, I'll puke...." on and on she went. Finally she saw there was no way out- I told her to put it in her mouth, chew it 3 times, then take a big swig of her soy milk. She did and after a small gag (self inflicted of course) she was fine- she even smiled at me.

About 10 minutes later while cleaning her room, as Hubby and I took a deep breath from the temper tantrums and screaming that we just dealt with, Sarah peaked her little head out of her room and said "Hey Mom, that broccoli was really good, can I have more tommorrow??"

I sware. Oh, and then she asked if her Aunt was making some broccoli for the party we are going to today. After all that....

take a step back...

I know this might sound a bit crazy coming from someone who is the oldest of six children, but I really did not know how hard raising kids was. seriously. They soak in every little thing they see - what they watch on television, how they see other kids interact at the park, and yes, their own parents. Ugh! Now I have to grow up- stop cursing, curb my temper and bite my tongue before I say something completely innappropriate in my own house? I thought "good kids", you know, the ones that are sweet and nice and polite, were just born that way- so I really do have something to do with all this, huh?

When I see my little girl behave like a monster I cringe, "what are those other people thinking?" But when I really look at it, it's as if I am looking into a carnival mirror directing only my worst traits back at me. Impatience, negativity, a snarl, and a condescending tone, and I say to her "what is your problem- where did this come from ?" I take a D-E-E-P breath and realize exactly where it came from - ME!

In trying to be "effective" as a parent, I forgot to just be a parent. The whole loving part. Being in the moment and enjoying the whole journey, for this is in fact, our shared portion of the whole trip. Sooner than I will care to admit they will be on their own, at school, out with friends, making their own mark on the world. What is it I really want them to see and learn? Kindness, helping others, making someone else's life better. Am I reflecting these things when I yell back or find it more important to stand my ground and show 'em "whose the boss"? Maybe I could step back a little and let them start to make some small choices around here, chill out and just show them by example how to be a better person. I guess it really does start with one person....