thanks

Gratitude is one of those things that I try to teach my children, but have to really work at myself. Fighting what is happening in the moment seems to be my way to go. Not my favorite way to go, but my reactional way. I am trying to stop and enjoy it all a little more. The truth is, I really don't care about the dust bunnies or piled up laundry until I worry about what someone else might think. I think I tend to yell a little more at the kids and try to "reel them in" when we are out, because I am afraid of what others will think of me, their mother.

It is strange to take "everyone" else out of the equation and just go with my gut. It feels lighter and more authentic. I love to see my kids run around crazy, no inhibitions. I love to see them dig in dirt (even if it's a beautifully planted flower pot) and take in all they see with new eyes. The truth is I want to dig in the dirt and run around. That freedom, not thinking about anything but the present moment. I keep taking it all so seriously, being home, keeping house. Really, I'm here to explore with them.