As we arrived at Sarah's ballet class today, I pulled into the empty parking lot and realized something was wrong. The instructors are always there first. My friend and I pulled along side each other and saw the note on the door that they were closed for spring break. I called my other friend, to let her know not to pack the kids in the car, but she was already on her way, so we all decided to meet up at Dunkin Donuts across the street.

The kids ate their donuts and the mommys chatted it up. Why, though, is it my child that acts up? Why do I end up yelling and counting to 3 to get her to listen? I feel like I am always complaining about this part of my life, and I love my kids, I do. But why do my friends all have the "perfect" kids? Maybe I need to find some girlfriends with little animals of their own? Perhaps some kids that misbehave more than my own, to ease my own mind? That's sad.

After Dunkin Donuts we said our goodbyes and headed over to Wal Mart for a few things. Why do I do this? Why do I go out in public when I am not emotionally equipped to handle the consequences? It wasn't so bad and it actually got me to reframe my own thinking so that I could handle the situation a little better. And we all know a little "retail therapy" definately helps, even if it is on the clearance rack at Wal Mart.

But then, on the way home, the kids ready for a nap quieted down and I remembered something: that sweet baby smell. You know when they are so little and even when they are sweaty they just smell eatable. So I backtracked through some pics and looked at my little Sarah 3 years ago, when she smelled sweet and acted that way too. She is still that little girl I could hold forever, although now she won't let me. She is strong now, very independant. Smart, almost too smart, she knows the buttons to push and I think I am the one learning lessons here on how to handle temper and learning to be present.

Here's to you my sweet little girl. You may just be the gift I needed to work on those things about myself, like being overreactive or quick to anger. Together we'll make it through.