lesson of the day

I'm not a big "medicine" person. When illness strikes, that is. I do not run off to the doctor the second the kids start coughing, as I know the routine with their asthma. I do not throw various pills into my body when I start to feel stuffy or achy. But this week was different. I had felt as if a bus ran me over, then backed up and ran me over again. I was coughing so hard I think I pulled a muscle in my neck. The other night I handed the kiddies over to Hubby and said- "they are all yours" and went off to bed at 6pm. It was bad.
So yesterday I called my doctor who gladly took me in later that morning. She confirmed that momma was sick.

Trying so hard lately to see blessings in everyday experiences, I found it, even in my coughing fits and fever..... in the midst of doing a breathing treatment- something my kids do on a daily basis for their asthma- I started to feel anxious and jumpy, just not right. When I was finished, I realized it was the meds and understood in that moment how they felt, and most likely, why they both give my such a hard time when it is time to do their meds. At this point we know it's not something that they can stop, as breathing tends to be pretty important. I think though, that I can try to be a little more understanding when coaxing them at breathing treatment time, and thereafter when the effects of the meds are pretty strong.
It truly amazes me, at 35, that there is still a lesson to be learned each and every day.

just a letter

Sarah and JR:

Too many days to count have I complained, yelled, felt over-anxious and just plain forgot the real reason I wanted to be a Mom.
I have overreacted, yelled at both of you for things that really didn't warrant yelling or anger at all.
What blessings you are to have come through me in to this world, to have allowed me to teach and guide you.

I worry if I teach the wrong things by my own actions.
I wonder in 30 years if you will be able to look back and smile, or just shake your head thinking about your crazy momma.

I took a breathe today, a long one, and in it I promised to be more aware of reactions and overreactions. I promised to smile and no matter what, take each moment to teach, rather than talk down or berate you.

Love,
Delusional Momma

security breach

As usual when I went to bed last night I asked Hubby if he turned on the alarm. He said yes, I went to sleep. Around 1am little JR came running into our bed, scaring the daylights out of me. I got him settled into our bed and then could not sleep. I had a dream just previous to this that someone came into a window and took Sarah. Now I am freaked AND cannot sleep. I got up checked on Sarah, and noticed that no, the alarm was NOT on, so I turned it on.
3:30am the phone rings, I wait a second, always knowing that a phone call in the middle of the night cannot be good news, then I look at the caller-ID- it says ADT Security. freaking out......
I pick it up and the young man proceeds to calm me down and tell me something about a security issue with a smoke alarm- I look at the box and it says it needs batteries. He says to make sure there is no smoke anywhere just to be sure. There is not. So, he says to change the batteries and the alarm signal will stop. Now we notice the BEEPING from the system to warn of the low battery. Now JR is wide awake. Hubby goes to change the batteries and of course they are the weirdest size and we don't have any. ok, now I have to listen to this beeping ALL NIGHT.
I reset the alarm and try to go to bed, (check on Sarah again.....)

The phone rings, someone else from ADT, asking Hubby is he knows there is a problem with the smoke alarm.... he tells her yes- we just talked to someone- no batteries in the house- change em tomorrow.......can she shut off the smoke alarm portion..good.


We get settled again, my heart is racing- oh, in the meantime JR has to go potty and since we are working on pottytraining I have to give him his 2 M&M's as a reward for going on the potty- even at 3:30 in the morning. Ok, heart is still racing- it is so cold- the kid won't sleep....

finally! He falls asleep and before I know it 5am rolls around and in comes Sarah- safe and sound- and I no longer think about how little sleep I have had or how my heart had practically beat out of my chest- I think about lucky I am to have this family, and pretty glad I know that ADT is looking out for us.

here we go...

I am so excited today! Not just mildly excited, but young school girl super excited! I recently decided to take a leap and try something I have been thinking about for a while- I signed up to be a Consultant for Creative Memories. I adore scrapbooking, and with two little ones running around I have found this strange, yet peaceful thing I can do to help me get through my worst days- SCRAPBOOKING.

On days where I feel no purpose, the kids are screaming, no one is listening and I just need a little escape, I can run down into my little space- or even on the dining room table and pull out whatever project I happen to be working on- right now it is a Gratitude Book. Baby pictures of the kids, a photo of Hubby and I at a Nascar Race, a beautiful flower from my spring garden- taking these memories and sitting with them for just a few moments can snap you back into reality and remember what life is really about.

This is what I hope to share with someone else. With EVERYONE.

I have planned a Get Together at my home on Sunday and really want to share what I have learned with my loved ones, as well as see what else I can learn myself.