color me WHAT???

The anxiety is overwhelming. Really, never have I felt so frustrated and afraid to commit.

After 10 years Hubby and I have decided to paint the living room. It is currently white.
So we have smudged a few samples on the wall and I cannot decide what I want. I thought I wanted some color. I ended up with beiges, greys and off whites. But even they are just sitting there on the wall saying "come on G, do it do it...." I can't commit. Not to one damn color. I am afraid. This is our living room here. The room we all hang out in....everyday. I actually have to keep putting down all my painting swatch books and leaving the room because it is so anxiety inducing for me.

But we need this. I certainly do not feel that I have left my mark in this room yet, and I find myself struggling with the fact that maybe, just maybe, I don't know what my mark is yet. So ridiculous, I know, you don't have to tell me. In fact, if Hubby came home tomorrow and said he wanted to have another baby, that would be easy. If I had to go out and buy a new refrigerator, no problem- we could have that picked out in an hour. But paint, hold on, I had no idea that this was so difficult.

uh.

I need to stop talking about it now because I feel an anxiety attack coming on.

uh.