$$$$

When he told me the amount I had charged on the credit card last month I wanted to die. I started to sweat, got a little dizzy, then started to well up with the defensive attitude that my parents will most likely remember from my teenage years. Hubby was just stating facts, no pointed fingers, no blame, just facts, because that is exactly what my sweet man does. After my little tantrum, I apologized and just sat with it for a while. how did a girl, who grew up on next to nothing, the eldest of six children, turn into this money-spending-momma? It's certainly not big ticket items. It's the 4 trips to the food store, or Costco or Target. It's the Health Food Store and the craft store. It's Dunkin Donuts. It's everyday living.

When we had our babies a few years back, I swore I wouldn't spoil them. Boy was I wrong! Hand me down toys from older family members, dollar store gagdgets each week, they have all filled 2 bedrooms and a basement toy room! Now that the kids are a little older and are no longer watching the toddler-commercial-free tv channel, it's all about the toys and commercials and " we want that !!!"

So here I am, searching online through "pay us first" scams and jobs that I most likely have no training for, hoping that I can find that magical thing that will save me. I scan my brain for what I like to do, what I am capable of doing, and am just so confused by it all. As I am surrounded by a mountain of toys that no one seems to ever want to play with, or clean up for that matter, I have a wonderful idea - garage sale !!!

procrastinating- sometimes it does help!!

So yesterday I remembered about my neighbor who had a baby boy 3 weeks ago. I remembered that I had a gift for the newbie, plus her 2 year old daughter, and it was all downstairs on my craft table in the basement. I threw a load of laundry in the washer, ran the dishwasher and headed downstairs to make a card and wrap the gifts so that the kiddies and I could run them over.

Sitting there at my little paper-craft sanctuary, I quickly made some cards and threw everything into some little gift bags. Easy enough, didn't know why on earth I had been putting it off for 3 weeks !

I grabbed the bags and headed upstairs, yelling to the kids to get their shoes on. Funny, as I'm walking past Hubby's pool very nice pool table I hear the sound of water trickling, but it's definately not in a pipe. I throw down the gifts SCREAM for Hubby to come down NOW! (I still don't know what he could have been thinking when I screamed the way I did.) Just as he came down we started to see water soaking into the drop ceiling tiles HOLY SHIT! Yeah, sorry to my grandmothers, really no other expression can even fit here!!

Grabbing towels and buckets and waste baskets we try to stop the disaster that could have destroyed the pool table (which, by the way has probably been used 3 times since the kids were born!) In the end, Hubby saved the day, the pool table, and has ordered a part for the dishwasher. Ya gotta love a handyman! But the real crazy part of the story is that if I had not have procrastinated about the whole gift wrapping thing, I might never have been downstairs when it all went down and we could have possibly had a much worse situation on our hands. So I know that the next time Hubby gets on my case about putting something off, I will remind him that my subtle laziness truly saved his baby, the Olhausen.

watch

Looking out over the bay. The water, family, the cool breeze. Such an awesome 4th of July for the kids.... they only missed the fireworks. After a long day in the sun they fell asleep and would not wake up!

Right now I'm watching them play "tea party" and it's one of those moments that I just soak in and smile.... giggling, playing nice, JR's little voice, Sarah being the big sis and helping him out.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the daily things, trying to keep peace and order, that I forget to just sit and watch them. The innocence, the imagination, the simple pleasures.

so today, I just sit and watch and learn from them.....

wondering

Both of my grandmother's noted that I hadn't blogged in a while. It's hard to admit, even today, that I have such darn trouble balancing things. I'm home with 2 small kids, what is the problem here? I seem to have trouble not working on trying to sell Avon, even though I thoroughly adore it. I have trouble keeping the house clean, even though we are in the middle of remodeling our master bath and it seems as if various face creams, tampons, and towels have overtaken the rest of the house. I have trouble maintaining a Gluten-Free diet, even though when I eat the G-Stuff (like the brownies I just picked on...) I end up extremely bloated, doubled over sick to my stomach and irritable. I miss my friends, who I don't get to speak to often enough. I love my husband, even though he only hears me sounding irritated and angry when he calls during the work day. I love my kids, even though I probably yell more than I should.

Is it just me? When I talk to other momma's they all seem to have the same problems. Do we just have to much time to complain since we now have dishwashers and washer/dryer combos? How is it that the laundry piles up, even though I don't have to take it outside and wash and dry it by hand? And the kids? Is it too much TV, DVD's and computer games that has taught them NOT to keep themselves busy with simple toys like dolls and blocks?

I wonder if it really was easier 40 years ago......