you are cordially invited...

I like manuals. I like to read through and know what to do before I do it. I thought parenting would be that easy, but haha on me. So with that, every once in a while you will be invited to a pity party in my honor.

A few weeks ago, JR was wheezing and we ended up in the ER. I was giving him breathing treatments at home and everything was fine. He was feeling better, breathing good, and due to I suppose my own laziness, we stopped the treatments. For my own peace of mind, the prescription does say "As needed for wheezing".

Last night we ate dinner at my parents, who have a dog. Now I always give my son Benadryl before we get there because he breaks out in terrible hives due to dogs. I forgot. Once again, I suck. By dinnertime my little man's poor little face was covered in itchy hives and his left practically swollen shut. He was miserable, I was crying. I am sitting there worrying about what hubby thinks, what my parents think of me, and wondering if I am fit to mother these children.

poor me.
sucky mom.
why is it so easy to make it about "me" at times like this?

This morning he awoke his normal cheerful self, but while he was eating breakfast he started coughing and wheezing. So, once again, I am thinking "I suck, this is all my fault". I gave him a breathing treatment and the wheezing has subsided.

It frustates me that JR was tested for allergies and nothing showed up, but most apparantly he is allergic to dogs and peanuts, at least to what we know so far. It frustrates me that I fall into this "poor me" attitude when my babies need me the most. It frustrates me that I cannot be more like my MIL, who, like Mary Poppins, is "practically perfect in every way". She would have never forget to give her children medicine or breathing treatment. She always know the right thing to do. I wish I could be more like my good friend DT, who let's it all roll off her back and is always telling me to relax. I wish I felt more like an adult, a parent, instead of still a child in a big body.

When do you start to feel like an adult anyway??