lesson of the day

I'm not a big "medicine" person. When illness strikes, that is. I do not run off to the doctor the second the kids start coughing, as I know the routine with their asthma. I do not throw various pills into my body when I start to feel stuffy or achy. But this week was different. I had felt as if a bus ran me over, then backed up and ran me over again. I was coughing so hard I think I pulled a muscle in my neck. The other night I handed the kiddies over to Hubby and said- "they are all yours" and went off to bed at 6pm. It was bad.
So yesterday I called my doctor who gladly took me in later that morning. She confirmed that momma was sick.

Trying so hard lately to see blessings in everyday experiences, I found it, even in my coughing fits and fever..... in the midst of doing a breathing treatment- something my kids do on a daily basis for their asthma- I started to feel anxious and jumpy, just not right. When I was finished, I realized it was the meds and understood in that moment how they felt, and most likely, why they both give my such a hard time when it is time to do their meds. At this point we know it's not something that they can stop, as breathing tends to be pretty important. I think though, that I can try to be a little more understanding when coaxing them at breathing treatment time, and thereafter when the effects of the meds are pretty strong.
It truly amazes me, at 35, that there is still a lesson to be learned each and every day.

just a letter

Sarah and JR:

Too many days to count have I complained, yelled, felt over-anxious and just plain forgot the real reason I wanted to be a Mom.
I have overreacted, yelled at both of you for things that really didn't warrant yelling or anger at all.
What blessings you are to have come through me in to this world, to have allowed me to teach and guide you.

I worry if I teach the wrong things by my own actions.
I wonder in 30 years if you will be able to look back and smile, or just shake your head thinking about your crazy momma.

I took a breathe today, a long one, and in it I promised to be more aware of reactions and overreactions. I promised to smile and no matter what, take each moment to teach, rather than talk down or berate you.

Love,
Delusional Momma

security breach

As usual when I went to bed last night I asked Hubby if he turned on the alarm. He said yes, I went to sleep. Around 1am little JR came running into our bed, scaring the daylights out of me. I got him settled into our bed and then could not sleep. I had a dream just previous to this that someone came into a window and took Sarah. Now I am freaked AND cannot sleep. I got up checked on Sarah, and noticed that no, the alarm was NOT on, so I turned it on.
3:30am the phone rings, I wait a second, always knowing that a phone call in the middle of the night cannot be good news, then I look at the caller-ID- it says ADT Security. freaking out......
I pick it up and the young man proceeds to calm me down and tell me something about a security issue with a smoke alarm- I look at the box and it says it needs batteries. He says to make sure there is no smoke anywhere just to be sure. There is not. So, he says to change the batteries and the alarm signal will stop. Now we notice the BEEPING from the system to warn of the low battery. Now JR is wide awake. Hubby goes to change the batteries and of course they are the weirdest size and we don't have any. ok, now I have to listen to this beeping ALL NIGHT.
I reset the alarm and try to go to bed, (check on Sarah again.....)

The phone rings, someone else from ADT, asking Hubby is he knows there is a problem with the smoke alarm.... he tells her yes- we just talked to someone- no batteries in the house- change em tomorrow.......can she shut off the smoke alarm portion..good.


We get settled again, my heart is racing- oh, in the meantime JR has to go potty and since we are working on pottytraining I have to give him his 2 M&M's as a reward for going on the potty- even at 3:30 in the morning. Ok, heart is still racing- it is so cold- the kid won't sleep....

finally! He falls asleep and before I know it 5am rolls around and in comes Sarah- safe and sound- and I no longer think about how little sleep I have had or how my heart had practically beat out of my chest- I think about lucky I am to have this family, and pretty glad I know that ADT is looking out for us.

here we go...

I am so excited today! Not just mildly excited, but young school girl super excited! I recently decided to take a leap and try something I have been thinking about for a while- I signed up to be a Consultant for Creative Memories. I adore scrapbooking, and with two little ones running around I have found this strange, yet peaceful thing I can do to help me get through my worst days- SCRAPBOOKING.

On days where I feel no purpose, the kids are screaming, no one is listening and I just need a little escape, I can run down into my little space- or even on the dining room table and pull out whatever project I happen to be working on- right now it is a Gratitude Book. Baby pictures of the kids, a photo of Hubby and I at a Nascar Race, a beautiful flower from my spring garden- taking these memories and sitting with them for just a few moments can snap you back into reality and remember what life is really about.

This is what I hope to share with someone else. With EVERYONE.

I have planned a Get Together at my home on Sunday and really want to share what I have learned with my loved ones, as well as see what else I can learn myself.

questions

I just have 2 questions today that terrorize me daily and keep me up at night:

• why is there more grey hair where your hair parts than anywhere else on your head?
• what about talking on the phone persuades children to start screaming and yelling and needing you right away once you have received or made a phone call?

take a moment

This week has passed by like a blur... my Sarah has begun preschool, little JR moved up from the "baby" car seat to the booster seat... too much too fast. Where did all the babies go?
Speaking on preschool- now the money troubles really begin- so much money now leaving our little hands- tuition, clothes, fundraisers (already??), dance class- and that's just Sarah!!
I tried selling Avon to help out with the rising expenses around here, and although I keep my account active with them, I find that people are not splurging on themselves like they used to. I am excited to say that I signed up with Creative Memories, a scrapbooking supply company, to be an Independent Consultant. I am really looking forward to getting my start-up package in the mail this week!! I love scrapbooking and can see me pushing forward more with something I love, love, LOVE to do! Also need to catch up with my reading on the Personal Trainer cert that I would really love to obtain!! I always have such high hopes and just pile it all on too thick!


Dentist appt today, parties- so much to do!

scream if you got 'em

Recently I bumped into a neighbor at the local Costco. We always chit-chat for a moment and after our "how-are-yous" he informed me that some of the "neighbors" were wondering what was going on in my backyard with all the screaming that was going on. "I just wanted to let you know" he said. I walked away perplexed, Sarah is certainly a screamer, especially in the pool, or if you chase her, or any kind of vigorous play. Isn't that the whole idea of the "inside voice" thing? Am I supposed to squelch her EXTREMELY high energy outside too??



For the past 10 years Hubby and I have had to listen to all the neighborhood children- laughing and screaming. Jumping on trampolines, pool parties, AND this particular neighbor's LOUD MUSIC. I remember Hubby and I being slightly annoyed at it all, before we had kids. Now we understand a little more.



So, I stew and simmer and worry about what everyone else is thinking... Are the neighbors annoyed with my children's play? Is it rude of me to allow her to express her excitement? We are even trying the whole "use you play voice" thing, I really get that the screaming is annoying, but there is only so much I can do- there are so many other things to worry about here.



When all is said and done, yeah, my kids are loud and active, but they are happy and healthy. At 35 years old, I think I can distinguish between rude behaviour and kids having fun. And also, I do wonder, what is THEIR screaming he was talking about, or was it MINE???

momma needs some $$

When Hubby and I started our little family a few years ago, I became the Stay-At-Home-Momma. We chose this because we both had that experience as children and wanted to give the same to our family. Now, as Sarah is almost 5 years old and entering pre-school, we are already entering the realm of Kids-Cost-A-Lot-Of-Moola- dance school, preschool, the necessary clothes and school items. Wow!!! It blows my mind how fast the cash can slip through your fingers, actually, we don't even see it- it goes right to Am-Ex. So now, Momma would really like to find a way to contribute to the family funds without totally upsetting the household. What's a girl to do?
I did start selling Avon, and I love,love,love their stuff, but in today's economy not everyone is splurging on themselves like they did 10 years ago. I will continue as a rep. to maintain my discount and perhaps sell to anyone who asks. Besides, I am much more passionate about the fact that people need to take care of themselves healthwise- nutrition, exercise- then your skin truly glows, that is the key. So I stumbles onto something here- passion. To truly do well with something, you should be passionate about it. So what do I love? I love to learn about nutrition and workouts- I even got the books to study for Personal Trainer Certification quite a while ago, but as it does, life got in the way and I have yet to finish that. But now, what could I do now to make some money? I love scrapbooking, cardmaking, all that paper-crafty stuff. I ran into a really nice woman at the gym who sells http://www.creativememories.com/. It's a direct sales company, like your Pampered Chef or Avon and you hold "Get Togethers" to introduce people to the products, which range from papers and scrapbook, to a computer program for people who like digital scrapbooking. They even have pre-made books where you just pop in the picture and the rest is done for you for those who like the crafty look, but don't scrapbook themselves.

This really interests me since this is definately a passion of mine. I am looking online to compare any of the other similar type companies that are out there to make sure this is the one I want to jump into. So much fun!! I wonder, how much money could I make? right now, I am looking to cover the extra expenses from pre-school and dance school, that would be key, so we are looking at a little over $300/month. If this is doable, then I am so in!

Any other ideas, let me know!!

$$$$

When he told me the amount I had charged on the credit card last month I wanted to die. I started to sweat, got a little dizzy, then started to well up with the defensive attitude that my parents will most likely remember from my teenage years. Hubby was just stating facts, no pointed fingers, no blame, just facts, because that is exactly what my sweet man does. After my little tantrum, I apologized and just sat with it for a while. how did a girl, who grew up on next to nothing, the eldest of six children, turn into this money-spending-momma? It's certainly not big ticket items. It's the 4 trips to the food store, or Costco or Target. It's the Health Food Store and the craft store. It's Dunkin Donuts. It's everyday living.

When we had our babies a few years back, I swore I wouldn't spoil them. Boy was I wrong! Hand me down toys from older family members, dollar store gagdgets each week, they have all filled 2 bedrooms and a basement toy room! Now that the kids are a little older and are no longer watching the toddler-commercial-free tv channel, it's all about the toys and commercials and " we want that !!!"

So here I am, searching online through "pay us first" scams and jobs that I most likely have no training for, hoping that I can find that magical thing that will save me. I scan my brain for what I like to do, what I am capable of doing, and am just so confused by it all. As I am surrounded by a mountain of toys that no one seems to ever want to play with, or clean up for that matter, I have a wonderful idea - garage sale !!!

procrastinating- sometimes it does help!!

So yesterday I remembered about my neighbor who had a baby boy 3 weeks ago. I remembered that I had a gift for the newbie, plus her 2 year old daughter, and it was all downstairs on my craft table in the basement. I threw a load of laundry in the washer, ran the dishwasher and headed downstairs to make a card and wrap the gifts so that the kiddies and I could run them over.

Sitting there at my little paper-craft sanctuary, I quickly made some cards and threw everything into some little gift bags. Easy enough, didn't know why on earth I had been putting it off for 3 weeks !

I grabbed the bags and headed upstairs, yelling to the kids to get their shoes on. Funny, as I'm walking past Hubby's pool very nice pool table I hear the sound of water trickling, but it's definately not in a pipe. I throw down the gifts SCREAM for Hubby to come down NOW! (I still don't know what he could have been thinking when I screamed the way I did.) Just as he came down we started to see water soaking into the drop ceiling tiles HOLY SHIT! Yeah, sorry to my grandmothers, really no other expression can even fit here!!

Grabbing towels and buckets and waste baskets we try to stop the disaster that could have destroyed the pool table (which, by the way has probably been used 3 times since the kids were born!) In the end, Hubby saved the day, the pool table, and has ordered a part for the dishwasher. Ya gotta love a handyman! But the real crazy part of the story is that if I had not have procrastinated about the whole gift wrapping thing, I might never have been downstairs when it all went down and we could have possibly had a much worse situation on our hands. So I know that the next time Hubby gets on my case about putting something off, I will remind him that my subtle laziness truly saved his baby, the Olhausen.

watch

Looking out over the bay. The water, family, the cool breeze. Such an awesome 4th of July for the kids.... they only missed the fireworks. After a long day in the sun they fell asleep and would not wake up!

Right now I'm watching them play "tea party" and it's one of those moments that I just soak in and smile.... giggling, playing nice, JR's little voice, Sarah being the big sis and helping him out.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the daily things, trying to keep peace and order, that I forget to just sit and watch them. The innocence, the imagination, the simple pleasures.

so today, I just sit and watch and learn from them.....

wondering

Both of my grandmother's noted that I hadn't blogged in a while. It's hard to admit, even today, that I have such darn trouble balancing things. I'm home with 2 small kids, what is the problem here? I seem to have trouble not working on trying to sell Avon, even though I thoroughly adore it. I have trouble keeping the house clean, even though we are in the middle of remodeling our master bath and it seems as if various face creams, tampons, and towels have overtaken the rest of the house. I have trouble maintaining a Gluten-Free diet, even though when I eat the G-Stuff (like the brownies I just picked on...) I end up extremely bloated, doubled over sick to my stomach and irritable. I miss my friends, who I don't get to speak to often enough. I love my husband, even though he only hears me sounding irritated and angry when he calls during the work day. I love my kids, even though I probably yell more than I should.

Is it just me? When I talk to other momma's they all seem to have the same problems. Do we just have to much time to complain since we now have dishwashers and washer/dryer combos? How is it that the laundry piles up, even though I don't have to take it outside and wash and dry it by hand? And the kids? Is it too much TV, DVD's and computer games that has taught them NOT to keep themselves busy with simple toys like dolls and blocks?

I wonder if it really was easier 40 years ago......

dancing days

Another amazing night courtesy of a child. Many children actually. Last night was Sarah's dance recital and I had offered to volunteer and help out with the kids. A big room full of 3, 4 and 5 year olds!! AHH! yeah, but so much fun to enjoy time with Sarah and her friends. I got to take pictures for myself and the other moms and I got to see the joy in all their faces right before they went on stage- PRICELESS!! As a "scrapbooker" I see all these memory moments just as a scrapbook page!! So very inspiring for me!

The kids did well with all the waiting around they had to do, and the night ended with aching feet (mine) and hungry bellies.

All is good.

Be the change...

Hubby and I found ourselves having an awesome time yesterday at the Dover Nascar Race- despite the rainy morning, then the hot sun. Really fun time, really good race. As we walked around though, I was alarmed at what I was seeing - mostly everyone was overweight. Not just everyone-comes-in-different-sizes-large, but seriously-too-many-extra-value-meals-pregnant-bloated-belly-large. It really made me sad and I swore that we need to do something, this is terrible, blah blah blah. Then Hubby looked at me and said "G, you can only change yourself, not everyone else" and it stuck. He always has a way of kicking me in the seat and getting me to move in the right direction. I am not always happy with what he says, or how he says it, but it is truly always what I need to hear (I can feel him smirking now....)

So I made the decision that I can make the change, but, it does start with me. One of my favorite quotes, from Ghandi is- BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. At least in my world I do not want to see my kids running around with a cheesesteak in one hand and a 52 ounce soda in the other. As for Hubby, I need to keep moving forward, way forward so that he has to work hard to keep up. Will it change the world? I know it will change mine.

So, instead of complaining about something today- do something to change it.

garden life

In order for most of my garden things to grow I have to really pay attention - every day. Water, I usually forget, especially on the really hot days. Miracle Grow, well, just recently did I find that it really helps your flowers when you feed them the right things. What about sunlight? Some need it, alot. Some, not so much.

So it is with the kids. I see that "feeding" them with praise really does a hell of a lot more good than just picking out what is wrong. Preparing them before you go out with the rules and expectations helps them know the boundaries. Taking the time every day to have some special moment with them reminds me so much of why we chose to have a family, as opposed to clicking on the tv and expecting them to figure their way through the day on their own.

Self improvement books? Certainly don't need them anymore - kids are the perfect mirror for all your ill behaviors. Sarah's freak outs when she doesn't get her way -totally me. JR's stubborness- yeah, I'll take credit for that too. Really makes you take a look at yourself and fix some little things before jumping all over them about it. I mean, they do learn as we do, and Hubby and I are definately learning as we go.

so for now, we'll water and feed the garden, and patiently wait for our little family to bloom.

thank you

http://www.ace-clipart.com/american-flag-clipart-01.html

Thank you to the bravest,

the strongest,

the determined.

Thank you to my grandfathers and yours'.

To my brothers, and yours.

Thank you to the men & women who serve our country now and then.

being grateful

Then you rose into my life
Like a promised sunrise.
Brightening my days with the light in your eyes.
I've never been so strong,
Now I'm where I belong.

Maya Angelou

laundry list

I imagine if I got off the computer once in while, the laundry would not pile up this way...

Anyone up for a folding party??????

circles

We have begun a small project around the house, well, it's Hubby's project and it's really not that small- our bathroom! We have decided to take out the Whirlpool bathtub and install a custom large size shower. The current shower stall is very small and we will then convert that into a closet - YAY! a closet! Sarah and I went out food shopping last night, so the "boys" were working in the bathroom. JR was playing with one of those flat construction pencils and Hubby let him draw all over the plywood with it. He apparently had ALOT of fun with the pencil, because then he snuck out of the bathroom and drew ALL OVER my bedroom walls, closet door, and then the hallway.

This morning I asked him about it, and said "JR, what did you do with Daddy's pencil?" He looked at me, smiled, and said " I draw CIRCLES!!" Yes he did. many, many, circles....

The B....word

I have never been comfortable "forcing" the kids to eat. Each night I do place some sort of veggie on their plate only to have JR ignore it's presence and for Sweet Sarah to scream and cry that it is even on their plate. Never did I make them even take a bite. Last night both kids were just torturing us through dinner - refusing to eat anything, yelling to watch Spongebob, not sitting, being kids really. Hubby was great, Sarah whined and screamed and was immediately sent to her room. He sat patiently with JR and got him to eat his food. After a while, Sarah swore she would come out and eat everything, so we then sat her at the table. "no broccoli though", she mumbled. Back to her room she went. Finally she realized that this was no joke and she must have been hungry. She came back into the kitchen, ate her chicken and rice. I prodded her to try to very small (and I mean small!) piece of broccoli that was still sitting on her plate. "I don't like it, yuck, I'll puke...." on and on she went. Finally she saw there was no way out- I told her to put it in her mouth, chew it 3 times, then take a big swig of her soy milk. She did and after a small gag (self inflicted of course) she was fine- she even smiled at me.

About 10 minutes later while cleaning her room, as Hubby and I took a deep breath from the temper tantrums and screaming that we just dealt with, Sarah peaked her little head out of her room and said "Hey Mom, that broccoli was really good, can I have more tommorrow??"

I sware. Oh, and then she asked if her Aunt was making some broccoli for the party we are going to today. After all that....