wondering

Both of my grandmother's noted that I hadn't blogged in a while. It's hard to admit, even today, that I have such darn trouble balancing things. I'm home with 2 small kids, what is the problem here? I seem to have trouble not working on trying to sell Avon, even though I thoroughly adore it. I have trouble keeping the house clean, even though we are in the middle of remodeling our master bath and it seems as if various face creams, tampons, and towels have overtaken the rest of the house. I have trouble maintaining a Gluten-Free diet, even though when I eat the G-Stuff (like the brownies I just picked on...) I end up extremely bloated, doubled over sick to my stomach and irritable. I miss my friends, who I don't get to speak to often enough. I love my husband, even though he only hears me sounding irritated and angry when he calls during the work day. I love my kids, even though I probably yell more than I should.

Is it just me? When I talk to other momma's they all seem to have the same problems. Do we just have to much time to complain since we now have dishwashers and washer/dryer combos? How is it that the laundry piles up, even though I don't have to take it outside and wash and dry it by hand? And the kids? Is it too much TV, DVD's and computer games that has taught them NOT to keep themselves busy with simple toys like dolls and blocks?

I wonder if it really was easier 40 years ago......

another sick day

I found a minute to jump in the shower. Thank goodness for that! I even shaved my legs and will slap some make-up on in a few. I know, home with 2 sick kids, why the make-up? Listen, you never know when the Maytag man will show up (although, that would be really strange since there is nary a Maytag appliance in our home...) Yet, if he were to show up, I'd at least look human. Kids are napping for a while and Sarah finally believes me now that if she takes another sip of Gatorade it will come right back up.

As for the momma-work-in-progress I have noticed a major good change in me- normally when the kids are sick and I feel stressed, I EAT. I mean EAT ALL DAY LONG! I feel now though that it is important to take better care of myself in order to take better care of them, the little ones and the Hubby. I have been keeping track of what I eat, and when I eat certain food (wheat, gluten) how I feel and it's always the same- itching throat, sinus congestion, stomach ache a few hours later, but the thing I notice the most is my mood. I had this big, GIGANTIC muffin yesterday and I immediately felt fogginess in my head and very, very irritable (yes Hubby, more than normal!). Knowing this really helps me make better decisions on what and when I eat. Later this month I have an appointment for allergy testing since I want to get to the bottom of it in case there is something that needs to be checked with the kids. But even if no test shows a gluten intolerance or allergy, I believe it IS important to listen to your body- it certainly knows best. (now as for the pizza and wine last night, let's just think of that as medication!!)

health and good choices

We lose people we love.
We lose time by complaining or remaining inactive.
Too much loss for one girl to handle.

My recent enlightenment on my own health and well-being is definately what is first on my mind lately. I wake up and feel great. I know that the choices I make will make it a great day, or a crappy day. I know this, we all know this. Sometimes we choose to make the decisions that hurt us, usually out of habit or comfort. But when we step up and make the choice to put ourselves first, not in the "I deserve the damn ice cream" sense, but in the " I deserve to live a full and healthy life" sense, then it is a win-win situation. I have a great day without migraines or stomach troubles. I have energy. My kids get a mom with more patience and love to go around, and last for the entire day. Hubby gets, well, he gets some good momma. Everyone's happy all around.

What has been the change? Well I came to find out with some dietary changes that it is either wheat or gluten that affects my body in a very bad way. I am not a doctor and would tell anyone who thinks they might have a problem to always see their doctor first. I made some apppointments in order to pinpoint the cause, the first starting with an actual allergy. Then we'll move on from there. So the kids and I stopped by the health food store to pick up a few items to make some waffles tomorrow that we can all enjoy. Excited! Yes, excited to enjoy food without always complaining how sick I feel. Yeah, I'll miss the beer, but hey, I can handle some fun times with a gin and tonic or a nice bottle of wine!

*make the choice to see the brighter side of things each and every day!!!!!*

bye bye cranky momma!

I have really been working on "me" for the past 3 weeks. I have been working out hardcore with a trainer and really fine-tuning my diet. I have come to realize that feeling like crap all the time is not ok or normal in any way. I took wheat out for a few days and when I had some donuts today- holy moly! My mouth got all itchy and a little while later my stomach ached and my shoulders and neck were so tense. My body felt- attacked. I have to face the facts now. I made an appointment with the allergist for next month as my first step. I figure I'll start with allergy testing first, since I seem to be ok with oatmeal it may not be a "gluten" thing, but an actual wheat allergy. This sucks, but, this is so not bad. I can live with this. I can still eat ice cream! The fact that I have not had one of those terrible headaches I usually get routinely tells me that something is definately up.

This time I have been taking for me is reminding me that in order to be the best mom and role model to Sarah and JR I need to take care of myself- this is NOT selfish. Besides, who wants a cranky old momma with a headache all the time?